Me: It couldn't possibly be that hard to find tickets to the National Championship game.
Ticket God: Have you checked Stubhub? Oh, my bad. Just kidding.
Me: So it is that hard.
Ticket God: Possibly. You don't have a few thousand dollars?
Ticket God: Well...
Me: Is there anything I can do?
Ticket God: Just show up. I'll see what I can do.
Me: Thank you, Ticket God. Thank you.